In our May Issue, my introduction to positive guidance and discipline talked about how showing your approval for acceptable behavior and following 12 steps to discourage and respond to undesirable behavior could help you to teach your children to become more well behaved and self-disciplined.
I have had enthusiastic feedback from parents who have tried this positive style of discipline. They tried the first eight steps and have chosen to adjust their parenting style to use positive discipline on a permanent basis.
Using these methods does not guarantee instant results, however, you can often see improvements in your child’s behavior and your frustration level immediately. When you put them into practice regularly, they become good parenting habits that require little or no effort and have a lifelong positive effect on your child.
Here are the last four steps.
9. IGNORE MINOR INCIDENTS.
Often noise, messes and attention seeking behavior can be ignored - as long as they do not infringe on the rights or safety of others.
This is a good time to take a breath and assess the situation before you speak.
10. ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN TO USE YOU AS A RESOURCE.
Try saying, “If you are not sure what to do, ask and I will help you.”
Rather than:
“That’s hard for you, let me do it!”
Try saying, “If you aren’t having fun, you can call me and I’ll and pick you up.”
Rather than:
“Don’t be silly, just go and you’ll have fun!”
11. BE ALERT.
When your child is in an environment where he or she generally finds it difficult to maintain suitable behavior, scan the action (play or activity) often, and intervene before negative behavior happens. Train yourself to anticipate trouble spots and act quickly to prevent problems.
12. STAY CLOSE
Especially with very young children who are just learning to play cooperatively or with children who have recently acted aggressively, or who are having a very difficult day. When you anticipate a difficulty, being physically close allows you to model or teach desirable behavior in context.
