(Continued from last edition, here are steps 5 through 9)

5. State what is expected, rather than posing a question or stating what not to do.

“It’s time to tidy up now.”
Rather than:
“What time is it?” Or “Let’s not leave a mess!”

“I want you to save some of your allowance.”
Rather than:
“Do you want to have spending money for our holiday?”

6. Provide choices.

“What do you want to put on first, your pants or your socks?”
Rather than:
“You need to get dressed now.”

“Would you like to go out Friday night or Saturday night?”
Rather than:
“There is no way you are going out every night this weekend!”

7. Allow time for children to respond to expectations.

“In five minutes we are going to clean up.”
Rather than:
“Clean up time!”

“I would like your room cleaned by next Friday before your grandparents arrive.”
Rather than:
“Clean your room now! Your grandparents are going to arrive tonight!”

8. Reinforce appropriate behavior with both words and gestures.

“Thank you for taking turns with Kathy.”
Rather than:
“Good girl!”

“You must be really proud of your work.”
Rather than:
“I’m so proud of you!”