Like many Japanese families, we spend part of the New Year vacation with my husband’s family. He comes from a small town in the mountains of Hiroshima. It is the sort of place where gaijin are still considered exotic. Some years back, when I wore a summer kimono to watch a parade in the town, there were more people taking pictures of me than of the parade itself!
The family home is a rambling old house which looks a bit like a rabbit warren inside-dozens of sliding doors revealing room after room, which don’t seem to be connected in any logical fashion. My youngest daughter still gets lost going to the bathroom in her grandmother’s house. (In fact, so did I for several years!) The front step is one of those huge ones that you can still find in some country houses. If I was carrying one of my kids and wanted to come inside, I always had to place the baby on the step, and then haul myself up.
Traditionally, the oldest son’s family lives with, or close to, his parents. My husband is a third son, so I lucked out there! However, I do really like MIL, and I would love it if she would visit us in Tokyo more often. But she hates the and the noise, and she always has some excuse for not making it. Last time she said, “Well, my second cousin’s husband is on his last legs. It would be a bit inconvenient if he died while I was in Tokyo.”
MIL readily admits to not being very handy round the house. According to my husband, everyone was thrilled when his oldest brother got married to his wife, Noriko, because her cooking was so much better than MIL’s. Noriko is from Saitama and the family worried that a ‘city girl’ wouldn’t fit in with their country ways. It turned out that Noriko is even more ‘traditional’ than folks are in that area. The first time she hung out some washing, all in precision formation, MIL’s sister commented: “Noriko puts you to shame! The mother-in-law should learn from the daughter-in-law!”
We had a giggle over this-I could never get the hang of hanging out laundry in the ‘correct’ Japanese style, either. In fact, I just toss mine straight into the dryer these days. MIL says she would like to get a dryer, too, but thinks that Noriko might not approve!
